Gotta Be Me

“I think you’re going through a mid-life crisis,” said someone to me one day in the midst of a difficult transitional time period that happened to be in my forties. True that, once I left my teaching job, I was trying to, somewhat frantically, figure out my next move due to the fact that I wasn’t as young as I had been during previous job changes. I realized that could effect the outcome of my efforts.

[Side Note: I think this article will be one that some of you can relate to regardless of your age.]

I read a quote around that same time that was something along the lines of, “I’m not going through a mid-life crisis. It just took me forty years to be me.”

There are, no doubt, many influences in our lives that help mold us, and sometimes our interpretation may need to be reshaped here and there along the way in order to realize our true selves.

I think I have often been in love with the idea of something, imagining myself there, rather than actually having what it takes to be that person…because that person is/was not me. And, I might add, I have pressed the issue on many occasions and gotten myself in some pretty big messes!

Whatever the influence/motivation behind it, trying to be someone you’re not, or to look a certain way, or be a certain way—or or not look a certain way, or not be a certain way can be a bit stressful—and exhausting!

I remember the day I bowed my head in full surrender of my life to Christ. That day, I felt a load lift. I had accepted Him as my Savior as a child, and have tried to serve Him since; however, there is a difference in accepting Him, and going further in allowing Him to be Lord of your life…and in recognizing that in all things, I can’t, but He can!

We are like clay, and He, the Potter. When we stop resisting and allow Him to mold us, we begin to take the shape that He intended us to have, rather than relentless efforts to be somebody we are not. That initial surrender can be a beautiful beginning of a walk of self-discovery as you travel along life’s path.

“And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.”

Isaiah 64:8 NLT

The expectations put on us by the words of others, or that we put on ourselves, can often blur our vision on which path(s) to take. [See my last article for more on “Great Expectations.”] I am so thankful that we serve a merciful and patient God who will allow us to choose our own path, but redirect us as needed; continuing to nudge and guide—and mold, even in our missteps. And I am convinced that sometimes, He confirms our path in order that we may see what is NOT for us—or even what might have been motivating that ambition; and in that process of refining, opens our eyes to necessary and/or helpful changes—or acceptances of who we really are—or are not.

I mentioned in my last article that I have felt that He is doing a new thing in me. I love that! To others, it may not appear to be much, but to me, I sense His guiding hand molding me into accepting that His approval is all I need; trusting Him more; and embracing more of who I am, even if it looks a little different than what we think of as “the norm.”

““But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19 NLT

https://www.bible.com/116/isa.43.18-19.nlt

Oh, I am still a work in progress, and sometimes those new things that I feel God is doing in me, even if they have been a long time coming, feels like I am on shaky knees, yet strongly desiring to continue to gain ground; but I know that I am in the Master’s Hands, and I trust Him to strengthen and support—and mold.

“The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

Psalms 32:8 NLT

https://www.bible.com/116/psa.32.8.nlt

In conclusion, simply put…I gotta be me—“for such a time as this.” [Reference to Esther 4:14]

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Please, note: Never will the Potter mold you into anything that is against scripture. Embracing who you are never means embracing your sin.