Perhaps, you, like in my case, are finished with a certain career or ministry. It can be extremely difficult to let go…this, I surely know! First, people may think you’re crazy for giving up the income, security, etc. Second, when you have done something for so long, it and the people become a part of who you are in a sense. The ripping away can be so painful that you might gravitate back toward it (which can also make people say you’re crazy [Kevin!!;-)]). But when you prayed and have felt peace in a new path, don’t backtrack – move forward. I am confident that, often, we don’t follow the new path long enough to see where it leads before we are afraid to trek on – or we are not far enough from what we left to deter the force that is drawing us back.
In my case, I was flabbergasted when I began to realize that I might need a change of career path (which I also thought was my ministry). As I mentioned earlier, I had confirmation that this was for me! Although I knew that I had thought all along that it may be a stepping stone to something else, I fell into the trap of thinking that since I had confirmation, that was where I was supposed to be and where I would always be in a sense.
My career was in education. I thought I would just expand in that field. And, I was sure that I would know my next move before I had to take that step. When I began to come to the realization that maybe that “expansion” was in a different direction, I was pretty discouraged; not necessarily because of doing something else (I have lots of interests), but more because of the resolve, the hard work that had gone into it, and realizing the difficulty of what would lie ahead. (If nothing else, getting my husband on board! And – who could blame him?! He had already supported me through thousands of dollars’ worth of debt for my education.)
I spent a very, VERY long time in prayer about this…about a year and a half to be more exact! The scripture that God gave me was from Psalms. If my memory serves me correctly (There are several verses on waiting on God.), it was chapter 62, verse 1: “I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.” I remember thinking that I am waiting, but sometimes not very quietly! Inside, I was praying for answers – quite loudly! But, I knew that I did not want to make an emotional decision. I most definitely wanted God’s direction!
After all this time, I made a decision to take that step of faith. I remember the very week that I mustered the courage to turn in my letter of resignation, I felt a strong battle going on between faith and fear. On my way to work that very day, the song, “Oceans” by Hillsong UNITED (Zion, 2013) came on the radio and became my new theme song.
“You called me out upon the waters…the great unknown, where feet may fail…in oceans deep my faith will stand…your grace abounds in deepest waters; your sovereign hand will be my guide…where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed, and You won’t start now…”
(Check out the rest of the words if you get a chance. Terrific!)
Following that time, I was encouraged as I worked to reorganize my house and frantically pursue a new career path. What I found, since that time, was that I let some outside expectations and pride influence me in some negative ways, but not without God teaching me, quieting me, and leading me here. To this point. Writing to you. I allowed myself to be pulled back a few of times as in subbing and part-time work, and even an interview for another teaching position; but what I discovered was that God faithfully urged me forward. I may not have handled everything 100% correctly. And, if you ask me if my timing was perfect, I can’t say that I know that it was without a doubt; but I do know that I had to let go in order to be able to move forward.
That’s not to say that we need to be in fear of making the wrong decision, which my family will tell you that I have been consumed by many times in my life. But, I have learned that, as we seek God in all we do, if we do happen to go down a wrong path, He is faithful to redirect us. We may get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but oh, the joy of getting back on track! – AND, you are less likely to forget what you learned in getting there.
Sometimes, I think God allows us to have some sort of “blinders” so He can move us forward. I was so used to pushing through, at times, in difficult situations, I was not really open to a different option. Had I not felt that confirmation to continue on that path in college, although eventually I felt it wasn’t for me, I might have missed out on some of the skills and confidence I gained through the entire experience. He used that to help me to know better who I am – and who I am not. I learned things that I would have never even guessed about myself…what I can do through Him; and what I thought was my passion may have been more of a well-intentioned influence that I clung to because it made sense. Sometimes, the passion must unfold in God’s timing as we live our lives daily for Him rather than being dug up with a pickaxe. Don’t try to label it and make it so difficult as I have done. Simply, live it out daily by following Jesus.
I thank Him for what He has taught me…and what He still is. I’ve learned that the job I have now can enable me to fulfill some of my heart’s desires outside of my work environment. At the same time, God can use me – and continue to mold me – through that job (which He has!). It doesn’t have to be my ministry, but God can minister through me as I simply and faithfully try to do my job well.
Simply Celebrate With Jackie 