NOTE: See previous article entitled, “Rest Extended” for the preface to this piece.
Beginning a few years back, we have intermittently had a fall gathering that consisted of bean soup with ham, hot dogs with the ‘fixins’, a fire, and marshmallows at the least, along with a variety of family and friends. My goal for this gathering has been for anyone who chose to come (no pressure) would come and relax and roast a hot dog; eat a bowl of beans and visit, and maybe play a game of corn hole…a time of refreshing, of rekindling of relationships, and just plain fun. [I love fun.]
This being a pretty big undertaking, from the invitations (that I absolutely love designing and mailing!) to the cooking to the set-up, we have not tried to have it every year. The last one was we had was 2019, so this year was going to be the year! I planned it in the spring so as to send texts for save-the-dates because of knowing how weekends in October can really book up. As the summer progressed and life became increasingly difficult for us, [see previous articles] we debated whether to go forward with our plans. I wrestled with it, but reasoned that it may still be a good idea. We pushed it back a couple of weeks but decided to go for it.
Invitations were sent. Plans were being made. But…I wasn’t really looking forward to it as I had in the past. I had come to the conclusion that I needed to stick to my decision and it would be ok. I was pressing forward. I bought the plates, dessert plates, napkins, and I splurged on these cute little orange gingham cups for the Scarecrow Crunch that I intended to make! I worked on my food list and even had my grocery list (“store bill” as we sometimes call it around here) ready.
I had my fabulous Sunday rest (that I wrote about in the article mentioned above). [The wienie roast was scheduled for the following Saturday.] Monday rolled around and I was refreshed more than I had been. Tuesday, however, resulted in a sick-day from work that I thought may have been stress-related based on previous happenings. That day, I had a sudden realization that this undertaking may have been simply too much for this current season. I recognized the weight of it, and the fact that I was depleted from everything that had happened. I felt that I had nothing left to give. I talked to Steve; and I (with his great support) decided to cancel.
I actually had great anxiety worrying about disappointing my friends and family over this decision. I typed up a message that I sent through text and Messenger to let everyone know. I apologized but let them know that I was still recuperating more than I realized.
A few things resulted from that cancellation…
1. I received a great outpouring of understanding—more than I could have imagined!
2. I received encouragement to give myself grace and do things I enjoy doing.
3. I cleared my plate and my schedule of everything on it for the rest of that entire week.
4. I recognized a major issue that had creeped back inside myself (or never fully left) of worrying about others’ approval; and my great need to keep that (and myself in general) fully surrendered. Jesus’ approval is all I (we) need. If others don’t understand me or something I am doing—or NOT doing, it’s ok as long as I am following His will for my life. I need to embrace that every day. We are created uniquely, and therefore, my life may look different than ‘yours’. As I have mentioned before, I may need more alone time than ‘you’ in order to accomplish things on my heart like, for example, writing. Regardless, I repented and am looking forward in faith.
5. My pastor asked to meet with me to help me with grief. [That has since taken place and was very helpful. I am grateful.]
6. I had an amazing week of guilt-free rest! The main things that I did that week were watch Christmas movies; take baths (my make-shift hot tub!); prayed; grieved; relaxed. I did have a nap or two. I also had previously bought a magazine by Dayspring with short articles that really ministered to my heart that week. [God knew.] I was a little under the weather with lingering sinuses (I guess.), but it really didn’t hinder the rest that my body embraced. I literally felt that I could feel my body healing from the weight the stress had caused.
7. The kids (my grown kids and their spouses) came over on Saturday, and we just hung out and ate supper while playing a Jeopardy on tv.
I have no regrets for cancelling the wienie roast. In hindsight, I had wrestled with the decision to have it to the point that I probably shouldn’t have planned to go through with it to begin with; however, good certainly came from the decision to cancel. I truly feel that I am still benefiting from listening to what I really needed to do—or not do.
“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: Fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way…”
Psalm 37:7 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/psa.37.7.KJV
Rest in the Lord. I certainly did.
I hope you, my friend, will find that same blessed rest as you need it.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.””
Matthew 11:28-30 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/mat.11.29-30.ESV
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/mat.5.4.KJV
I have felt that comfort from Him, and I joyously praise Him! I am still being cautious of what I allow on my plate because there are still times of grieving which I know is necessary, and also necessary work to be done; but I can also see God in His infinite mercy restoring me…and doing new things.
Rest—and restoration—are causes for celebration…and every so often…a little dancing.
“(7)Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (10)In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”
1 Peter 5:7, 10 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1pe.5.7-10.NLT
“I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines.”
Jeremiah 31:4 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jer.31.4.NLT
“Praise him with the tambourine and dancing; praise him with strings and flutes!”
Psalms 150:4 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.150.4.NLT
Simply Celebrate With Jackie 